Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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