you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
