we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize