If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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