This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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