Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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