ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
love makes seman taste better
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
