haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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