Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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