my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
