you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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