Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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