so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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