It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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