This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
