Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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