I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
