I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize