community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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