So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
