I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
