im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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