me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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