So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
