Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
