would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dear god my vagina.
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