guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
honey bunches of taint.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
