I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I could fuck to npr.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
