Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize