She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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