he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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