you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
