I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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