When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This house was built for laser tag.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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