Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
