white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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