SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
