just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
