What a fucking waste of an outfit
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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