i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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