i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
