I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize