hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
