So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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