it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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