We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
