she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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