quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
