Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
