i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Are we still banned from the library?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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