idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
