Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
