Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize