If i come over, it means nothing
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
