Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
