i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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