all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
