3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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