I smell stomach acid.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
